


Mob of pretty googly eyes

by Jeageractive



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Also an unimportant set of triplets, Annoying family get togethers, M/M, this is my jam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 10:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2188170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeageractive/pseuds/Jeageractive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Levi's informed of his sudden affinity to a family of god-knows-how-long-the-list-of-names-is, their house is unexpectedly swarming with brats of all sizes that came out of absolutely nowhere. </p><p>This includes an all timer bitch that might have a gun behind the waistband of her jeans, a masochistic little shit with looks better than brains, and three little ones that were certainly kage bunshin no-justued in the fetus.</p><p>How fucking splendid his summer was going to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have to stop. I have to. Halp.
> 
> I apologize for the amount of times I said 'googly eyes'.

Levi could _not_ believe this."Two and a half months?"

"Stop saying that. I already told you."

"Five kids?"

His mother sighed, rolling her eyes. Then she flipped through the photo album in her hands again, beckoning him forward. The first photo her hand trailed along to was three frighteningly identical infants with googly, googly eyes.

"Emma Jaeger, Emmy Jaeger, Ebbe Jaeger." She fired away without giving him a chance to even register what she was saying. Her hand moved to the next."Mikasa Jaeger." The next."Eren Jaeger."And the next."Carla and Grisha Jaeger. Your turn."

He just gave her a weird look before regarding the album again."Jaeger, Jaeger, Jaeger...Jaeger...googlier eyes, Jaeger aaand Jaeger."

He got a cuff upside the head."What? They all come in sets, anyway."

"Don't tell me you're going to greet them with that kind of an attitude."

"Tell you what." He shut the album."I'll just go buy a set of locks for the basement, and you can give me a knock in September."

He shuffled away before she hit him again."I _was_ going to spare you the trouble and leave your room off limits..."

"Oh, please no." He breathed."Have mercy."

"And unless you want the triplets..."

"Fuck, okay."

She smiled knowingly."Eren's such a sweetheart. He won't even take up space, doesn't make a fuss about anything-"

"You haven't even met them-"

"Shut up, Levi."

Levi huffed, blowing a few strands of hair away from his eyes."All I'm saying is, if I find his dirty socks or boxers lying on the floor, I will pick him up by the collar and kick him out and just maybe give him a blanket, if I'm feeling _that_ generous."

"You will do no such thing." She stated with a confident smile, and Levi waited until she'd turned her back on him before mouthing a 'watch me'. 

 -

Levi didn't approve of the small quirks done to his room to accomadate his soon to come cousin (probably five times removed or something), but after his mother threatened him with the triplets, he couldn't really say anything about it. Honestly, he'd rather risk a female roommate and awkward and uncomfortable times than the triplets. But hey, there _was_ an in between solution. Levi just hoped he didn't snore too loud, or else he'd have to smother him with a pillow. 

"Hey, are you sure this one's part of the family?" Levi asked idly as he flipped through the album again.

"Which one?"

"Bitchy expression, bitchier posture. She's like, the only one who doesn't have googly green eyes."

"Are you looking in the mirror?"

Levi glared daggers at her back, he could practically _hear_ the smile on her face.

"That's because she's adopted."

"Are you sure she's not a serial killer or something?"

A sigh."What is wrong with my son, Jesus almighty."

-

Levi nearly cringed when his mother rushed into the living room and whispered "They're here," dragging him up by the ear when he made no move to fix his sprawl on the couch. 

The door opened, too many people flooded in, and all he could hear were high pitched drones of,"Hi! Hello" "Oh my goodness" "It's so nice to finally meet you!" blah blah blah.

He tried to press behind everyone so maybe they'd forget about him, but, being the only child, he was sort of destined to be the center of attention.

"Oh my gosh look at you!" Smile. Be nice. Don't cringe. Don't run. He assumed that was Carla, the bearer of those googly eyed children and the googly eyes themselves. She smiled down at him, brown strands of hair falling lose from their tie as she wrapped her arms around him.

 _Ughhhh._ He glimpsed his mother giving him a displeased gaze at the unresponsive way he was acting, and subtly held up three fingers. Triplets. Fuuuuck.

"It's nice to meet you." He managed, giving her a pat on the back and a lopsided smile.

"Oh, you're absolutely precious." She pinched his cheek before finally retreating, and Levi was glad when the father gave him a smile only a courteous tip of his hat.

"Hi! you're Levi, right?" His eyes found the source of the bubbly voice, a brunet expectedly taller than him with a wide grin. Levi eyed the offered hand in mild scrutiny. The boy's grin fell a little as he eyed Levi with curiosity.

The raven in turn took out a small bottle of hand sanitizer from his pocket and placed it in his hand.

The boy blinked, grinned, chuckled a little."Pulling my leg already?"

Levi blinked back blankly.

He stared at him fixedly some more before pouring some into his palm and rubbing his hands together, giving the bottle back to him. Levi gladly shook his hand this time.

He snickered again.

And Levi barely restrained himself from kicking him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me, or do I always write Katy Perry fan Eren?

"Oh, wow. Thanks for all of this. I mean it must have been a trouble." Eren gushed after taking a glance at the room, which basically had been separated into two equal parts of everything, including beds.

Levi watched him in disinterest, inwardly unable to conceal his curiosity at his Anime big eyes. Where's this kid from, anyway?

He turned his gaze over to Levi."I could've just slept on the floor, I mean this is a trouble."

"Of course it is. Are you volunteering?"

Googlier eyes apparently hadn't been expecting that."No."

"Alright." Levi leaned away from the door frame."Ground rules. Put your belongings where they _belong_. That means no dirty articles of clothing littering my floors."

Eren took a second glance, as if to evaluate it's tidiness."Oh. Oh, okay."

"No food or drinks up here unless you're willing to guarantee the utter an absolute absence of crumbs and spills. And if you spill something, then god help you, Jaeger."

He paled.

"Personal hygiene is a must. How often do you shower?"

"Um." His eyes flicked from side to side."Everyday?"

"Nice one, but no. I expect you to shower every other day. Next, no hogging my bathroom." He gave him a narrow eyed look of warning."I love my bathroom."

"Duly noted."

"No snoring."

Eren gave him a baffled look.

"I mean it."

"Sure, I'll just stay awake until you're done." Eren shrugged.

"Not a bad idea." Levi clearly missed the sarcasm in that."Next. No scribbling on my walls. No lame teen romance posters. No loud music. No random stripping. No loud _anything_. No burping. No drowning my fish. No flushing it down the toilet. No jerking off. No pissing in the sink. No-"

"No snorkeling, eh?" Eren said through a chuckle.

Levi blinked."Of course not."

"I thought we came here for summer vacation." Eren said in bewilderment."What is this, boot camp?"

"Problem?"

"No." He drawled in exasperation. This summer was going to be a fucking long one.

-

Levi walked in on googlier eyes and his god awful voice.

"It's no big deal."

Levi wanted to throw a shoe at him.

"It's no big deal."

He walked up to him and just stood there while he bobbed along with shut eyes."This is no. Big. Deal! This how we-" He paused, cracking his eyes open and staring up at Levi. His hand subtly drifted to his iPhone and he paused it.

"I forgot to mention. No shitty singing."

"Yes, sir." Eren scoffed, flopping against his pillow and only groaned a storm in it when Levi left.

-

The first day was spent with lots of unpacking, introductions, and a hell of a lot of getting used to from Eren's part. It was great that their Uncle's or whatever were nice enough to let them stay over, but with Levi-it was going to be absolute torture.

He decided it would be twice as worse if he started off with him on the wrong foot, and made the effort to at least _try_ and find a way to befriend the angry little dude. 

They were sitting there on either bed that night, Eren texting Mikasa furiously about his woes in the dark, Levi doing his own business on his laptop. Eren was comfortable in his boxers and oversized t-shirt and honestly wasn't looking forward to ruining the mood by talking to him.

"Hey, you asleep?"

"What do you think?" He replied flatly.

"I'm bored."

"Suck it up."

"We should talk." 

"That's what we're doing right now."

Eren groaned into his arm."Are you always like this?"

"Like what?"

"Stick up your ass and all." A pillow nailed Eren straight in the head.

"Give it back." Eren threw it back with a pout. It hit Levi in the face accidentally.

Before he could apologize, he was smacked in the face harder.

"Give it back." Levi stressed out, and Eren got up and pointedly put it back in place. He then plopped down beside the raven and stared at his laptop screen from over his shoulder.

"Are you serious?" Levi made an attempt to shove his face away, but Eren wouldn't relent.

"What are you reading?"

"Go away."

"Cock? Does that say cock? Are you reading porn?"

"The _fuck_ is wrong with you? A cock as in a _bird_. The proper definition."

Eren scrunched up his nose."You're reading about birds?"

"You have five seconds to go the fuck away."

"I thought you liked fish?"

"I _have_ a fish."

"It's cute. Sucks it won't remember you after three seconds."

Levi didn't say anything, and for a moment Eren thought the reminder made him sad. Like, this guy honest to god told him to not snorkel in his room, he wouldn't put it past him to be sad about his non-friend fish.

"Hey, at least it's pretty. It stares at you a lot, you know?"

"Are you for real right now? Are you _really_ giving me comfort about a fish that I'll flush down the toilet anyway sooner or later?"

"Oh." He chuckled a little."Well you _are_ a bit eccentric."

"Fish watching apparently de-stresses and has other relaxation related health benefits. What's the harm in putting a bowl on my dresser?"

"You might knock it down and whoosh," Eren made a wave motion with his hand in the direction of the door."There goes all your ground rules."

"It's dark, but do you even see my face right now?"

Eren blinked, leaned in almost nose to nose and blinked."No. But I bet you look like this."Eren put on his best dopey-stoned expression. Levi didn't say anything, but Eren was pretty sure he was mirroring it. He grinned in a silent laugh.

"But seriously, why are you reading about cocks in the middle of the night?"

"Haha." He said flatly."Passing time."

"Wow, you must be a real no lifer if that's how you spend your time. No friends either, huh?"

Levi was too offended to hit him again with a pillow."My friends are exactly why I'm distracting myself like this. This one, specifically, has been nocturnal _and_ diurnal all her life, and frankly I have no fucking clue _when_ she sleeps. If ever."

"Wow, I'd love to have a friend like her. I could wake up anytime and bombard her."

"And whine about your angsty teenage problems?"

"Hey." Eren gave him a look, but it was sort of true."Anyways. I don't want to go back home with no pictures or Instagram posts, like, who am I going to take a selfie with? No offense, but my _aunt_? I already told them I have a super cool cous' that I was going to board this side of the world with, I can't go back and be like, he's a fifty year old in a seventeen year old's body."

This time, Levi pinned him down face first and rammed him so hard with his pillow it's fluff nearly exploded everywhere. Eren declared it a pillow fight excitedly at first, but after the first five minutes with his ass being handed to him, he practically _screamed_  for mercy. 

"Sucks to expect too high, doesn't it?"

Eren lay on his own bed with his limbs dangling everywhere, trying to catch his breath."You're not," Huff." _That_ bad. I mean, if you'd give up that ex-soldier attitude."

"I just beat the living daylights out of you." Levi gave him a look."And you still think I'm...'not that bad'?" 

He shrugged, lazily grinning."Hurts good."

Levi opened his mouth to say something, closed it quickly. 'Hmm'ed in thought for a second, gave Eren a weirded out look."Okay then." He decided in the end.

"Do you have any hobbies?"

"You're fucking _weird_."

"You're in no place to talk."

Levi didn't say anything.

"Do you play any sports? Baseball, soccer, hockey? Basketball?" He paused, then broke into a fit of laughs. Levi poised his pillow in aiming position, and Eren quickly apologized. 

"Do you knit? Or do you just stare at your fish all day and think about cocks?"

"Eren I swear to _god_ go to fucking sleeping already."

He giggled."Okay, okay."

Levi sighed in relief when Googlier eyes didn't twitch or make a peep for the longest time.

"Do you think Miley Cyrus is hot?"

Fucking.

Piece of.

Fucking.

"Shut up."

"Do you?"

"She's the queen of sluts."

"Oh. But is she a hot one?"

"Holy _shit_ what kind of a battery do you run on?"

"Gatorade!" He gushed delightfully.

"Nah."

Eren realized a second too late that was an answer to his question.

"Jensen Ackles is alright." 

"Hah."

"What?"

" _Hah_."

"Go to sleep."

"Aye, aye."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to include the other Jaeger sibs here.

Levi was just wriggling his arms out of his shirt, Eren snoring loud as fuck with his face against the wall, when his door was banged-no, _kicked_ open. He blinked over his shoulder, shirt falling at his feet and thank the lord he was still wearing boxers.

Not very googly-eyed ravenette gave him an unfazed, slightly displeased once over."Hmm. Not bad. At least you could teach Eren something."

Levi gave himself a look. Was she talking about his six pack? Well maybe she was. But really? Girl was so indecent.

She blinked at his fish bowl."Ugly. Why's it's eyes so...googly?"

Levi snorted."Because I ordered an exclusive Eren fish." She continued glaring at it through the glass."Hey, quit harassing it."

"What's it's name?" She asked idly as she strolled over to her brother, who'd rolled over on his back in limp limbs, snoring like an engine.

Levi just gave her back a 'seriously?' expression as he pulled out a clean shirt."It's just called... _fish_."

"How original." Next thing he heard was a thud, what might have been the distinct noise of bones breaking, and Eren's choked grunt.

"Fihhfuuu." He breathed incoherently, rolling over to his side.

"Come on, mom said we'll leave you if you don't get ready in ten minutes." She paused, dropping her voice low."With Levi."

"I'm standing literally right here." Levi grumbled as he pulled on a pair of sweats.

Eren suddenly gasped and jolted upright, looking frantically around."I just had the worst nightmare. You guys went to the beach and left me with Levi."

Levi stepped into his bathroom and slammed the door shut, honestly tired of hearing them insult him. In his house. In his fucking _room_.

Downstairs was no better.

He nearly jumped back when a flurry of brown hair latched onto his leg. Triplet number one grinned up at him toothlessly, and he would've thought something like, _aw cute_ , if triplet number two and three hadn't followed and completely immobilized him. Someone was thudding down the stairs.

"Um, _help_." He croaked, giving-Eren- a pleading glance. Eren blinked, yawned with a crack, and swiped one up with swift nonchalance.

"Emme. Be nice." Eren scolded.

Really, this coming from you?

"Emma?" She stopped giggling and instead squished her cheek against Levi's leg, putting on the most adorable apologetic expression."Fwiends?"

"Yes, but not in the morning. No one's friends in the morning." He swiped her up, too, and balanced them on either hip. Then he motioned to the boy with his chin groggily."Ebbe's yours."

Levi blinked down at Ebbe's gapped grin and picked him up by the collar, supporting his diapered butt with a hand to make sure he didn't choke and die. He put him somewhere in the dining room.

"So, how's your beach like? Is it different from ours?" Eren inquired around a mouthful of pancake when they'd settled down for breakfast, intentionally leaning against Levi and penetrating his space restrictions. He was about to shove him gruffly back in his chair, but his mother's eyes practically flashed before he could even _think_ it. He propped his chin in his hand and poked at his food sullenly.

"Can't say. Never been to your beach."

Eren just gave him a, 'dude, come on' look."Our beach is a _beach_. Sand and ocean, common sense, 'cous."

"Well ours is a beach too, Mr. Common sense." he snapped back."And quit it with the 'cous, I have a name."

"Oh. 'cous has a nice ring to it, y'know?"

Eren's warm arm was really bothering him, and so was the constant brushing of fabric against his skin that pissed him off to an indefinite extent.

He silently dug the heel of his foot against Eren's toes. Eren flinched, squeaked, and smiled around apologetically. Eren reciprocated the gesture. It was _on_.

"Levi!" His mother scolded after watching them warily and huffing in exasperation.

Carla fixed Eren with a look as well."Quit it."

"He started it." Eren quickly defended.

"We are _not_ going to start on that."

"I'm sorry." Eren gave Levi an apologetic gaze."I'll just-" He scooted over. Levi shoved his chair a bit farther away. Mikasa growled.

They stopped.

Eren was squished beside him on the ride, and Levi was not amused.

"Let's go to the beach, each, let's-" Eren was _so_ doing that on purpose. Levi pinched his arm, pinched him good, and Eren had something to keep him busy for the rest of the ride. 

"Wooh!" He screamed, hopping out." _Ohahowww_."

Eren managed to bomb him a few times and get some decent selfies, but after the fifth, Levi threatened to hurl his damn phone into the damn ocean.

Eren pouted."But those were only snapchats."

"I don't give a fuck."

Eren poked at the sand, looking genuinely dejected this time."You really need to loosen up a little."

"Credit to you for putting me in a loosening mood."

Well dammit if he didn't know how to use those googly eyes well. Levi witnessed them double in googlyness and was a bit speechless at that point. Resigning, he grabbed Eren's phone and leaned back against the mat. He posed ridiculously and took a selfie.

Eren screamed when he took a few more shots."Jesus, I didn't ask for a porno, did I?"

"Is that a compliment?"

Eren rolled his eyes."You're just looking for the opportunity to flaunt your abs."

"You're jelly."

Eren glared at him and attempted to curl in on him self. Levi snorted at the self conscious move."Well, it's not like you're overweight or something."

"Is that your nice way of saying I'm fat?"

"No. See that's the thing, I _wouldn't_ say it nicely."

Eren smiled a little at this.

"You're neither ripped or fat. No pain, no gain. Literally. you're in between."

"Oh. Okay. Great." He rolled his eyes."So how do I bring my self to the gain spectrum?"

Levi fumbled a little with the phone before shuffling towards the brunet's side."Haven't you ever watched Kung Fu Panda? I mean no, scratch that, horrible example. You can't go from Panda to badass hero overnight."

Eren giggled. Levi bombed him with a selfie.

"That was ugly, shit no."

"Oh. Really?" Levi looked mock guilty."I sent it to this person by accident."

"Who?"

Levi squinted at the phone."...Jean?"

Eren never stopped screaming about it for the rest of the day."That _dick_ won't let me live through it! My life is ruined, Jesus fuck." Eren moaned and grumbled about it all the ride back, waiting for a response.

This Jean person sent back a string of 'haha's and then some Levi praise.

"Whoops."

"He doesn't believe you're related to me."

"Who would?" Levi answered blatantly. 

Eren groaned again. "He says that you're really hot and don't ever tell Mikasa he said that. Pfft." Eren quickly sent Mikasa a text saying just that, who was literally a car away.

'good for him.' Mikasa texted back.

'Tell him how much his chances of appealing to me with his long ass face have just decreased."

Eren laughed hard and told Jean just what he did."He says...dude, I'm trying to keep my sexuality straight right now. Literally. Thanks a lot." 

"Breathe, Eren." Levi muttered when the little shit broke into a fit of laughs again. 

"Okay, okay." He opened up snapchat and Levi really had nowhere to go.

"No."

"Yes. Please." He raised up his iPhone, leaned in close, and Levi gave him a weird look out of the corner of his eyes when he noticed his pose.

Eren sent Jean the snapchat with him fake kissing Levi's cheek, adding an emphasis text of 'you're all alone, Jean. Marco probably just feels bad for you.'

Unbeknownst to him, a fucking war had started.


	4. Chapter 4

So far, Eren had broken every rule he could break without having a bone break in turn, and Levi didn't know what happened to the 'kick him out and give him a blanket' measure. But the brat managed, with a sheepish and equally calculating grin, or a comical lip quiver in addition to those eye growing powers. He managed pretty damn well. And Eren made a point of proving that he liked it when Levi beat him up, so  _that_  sort of was ineffective. 

Eren was awake before him this morning. Levi would trade this for his god awful snoring any day. He currently had his blanket over his head with an iron grip, Eren's knees digging into his side while his unspoken space penetration rule was being sabotaged. 

"Levi, I know you're awake under there, quit being an assho- _Ngahahaow_!"

Levi could  _not_  believe Eren just moaned and covered it up halfway. Ribs? He'll make note not to kick there again."Eren."

"Wakey wakey."

"Eren." He repeated firmly.

A small pause."Levi." He imitated with the same tone.

"What the fuck do I do with you?"

When Eren didn't say anything for a second, Levi thought he'd run out of ammo. Praise the lord. 

His blanket was lifted off of his face and Eren blinked down at him in that sweet way a child does when they're guiltily covering up for something. Levi glared back with one open eye and resisted the urge to injure him again, not sure how well he'd handle another moan. 

"You don't get cowlicks? You're hair is just all Pantene-y." 

"You woke me up at-" Levi threw a glance at the clock."Five in the fucking morning to tell me this?"

"Nah, actually." He shrugged."I'm kind of really hungry because I skipped out on dinner last night. And I don't want to be down in the kitchen clanking around and waking everybody up? Like, I sort of want a partner in crime so it won't be all awkward when your mom comes down."

"That should be the least of your worries, you little masochist." Levi grumbled as he attempted to cover up again, but Eren grabbed his blanket away with a whine.

"Eren, I'm serious. I'll stab you hard enough so you won't have time to enjoy it."

"Can you cook?" Eren said, completely ignoring his threats. Levi stared a him incredulously."I sort of want hash browns. Something fruity, too." He sighed."I'm  _really_  hungry right now."

He was damned. 

-

Levi tossed a skillet onto the stove as Eren raided the fridge, yawning a longing yawn for sleep. He was going back to bed right after he cooked shit up for the brat, if his life depended on it.

"Hey, is it a regional thing that I can't identify half of the things in your fridge?"

"Thank god you can't."

"Whatever. Everything else is good."

Eren watched him as he shredded the potatoes with eyes nearly glued shut, munching on a carrot. "Why don't you make yourself useful?"

"Well, tell me what to do."

"Nevermind, I don't trust you. How old are you again? Thirteen?"

Eren gasped in offense."What the shit, do you get alzheimer's before seven am?"

"I'm making food for you, you ungrateful fuck. This is your mom's job."

Eren chuckled."Mom would never do this for me. You're the best." Eren hugged him from behind and Levi had to put a knife between them lest he did it again."I'm sixteen, by the way. You missed my birthday."

"Sixteen and brainless. Sucks to be you." Levi sighed.

"Hey."

"Pull out the syrup and whatever shit you'd like with your pancakes. Don't trip and kill yourself on the way."

"Mm. Food." Eren sighed, and Levi internally groaned up a storm. It was barely sunrise and this shit wanted to stuff his face. Un- _fucking_ -believable. 

"'Right, this is all. Don't make too much of a mess." Levi sighed, wiping his hands on his thighs mindlessly. He was about to leave when Eren latched onto his arm." _No_." He hissed before he heard his reasoning. 

"You're honestly going to leave me?"

"How old are you again?"

"You can't."

"I can, bitch. Let me go."

"I'm sort of kitchen-alone-phobic ever since a certain incident in my childhood."

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and steadied his breathing."I don't want to hear it." He shoved Eren in a chair and sat across from him. 

Eren smiled appreciatively, blew him a kiss and dug in."You know, I'm really going to have a lot to tell my friends when I get back. You're great. Heart of gold."

Levi crossed his arms over the table and slumped his head on them."Correction: I simply don't want my ears to bleed this early in the morning."

"That works, too." Eren mumbled around a mouthful, humming at the crispy taste."You _can_ cook."

"That's hardly anything in comparison to how well I've been putting up with you."

Eren snickered, rambled on about something else, and Levi fell asleep. 

When he woke up, he was so stiff it was a shock he didn't just snap in half. The table's edge was digging into his arms and his eyes were permanantely glued shut. There was a ruckus around him, of people, talking and buzzing around, and when he blinked up everyone was awake.

His mom noticed him and it was like a reminder for her to giggle."Looks like you guys had fun in the middle of the night."

Levi yawned, scratching the back of his head."Eren did. He's a fatty."He mumbled groggily.

"Oh, I know." Carla breathed with a laugh, and Levi only then noticed that the little shit across from him was limp. Eren had his head resting against the table, choking on a snore. His phone lay carelessly beside his head.

Levi got up, light blanket sliding off of his shoulders, and unlocked his iPhone because he knew Eren was up to something whenever he got his weapon ready. A saved snapchat on some cheating app instantly popped up. It was a picture of him sleeping right there, looking a lot less intimidating.

Eren's comment was 'hi Jean

look at his pantene-y hair

he's cute'

Levi smirked. _Well then_."Wake up, idiot."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's adorably, mainstream-ly annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew it's been a while.
> 
> Anyone up for some cousincest? No? Yes? Whatever?

They had a quarter of a day, a deck of cards, a PlayStation and a set of triplets. Not too hard to balance out, right?

Mikasa came up the stairs stone faced, eyes cold and ruthless, and Levi's jaw might have dropped a little when he saw her red tainted shirt and hands. There wasn't a single peep, not a single triplet was squealing, giggling or crying.

Eren was unfazed.

"What the fuck did you do with them?" Levi asked as she stepped into his washroom and ran her hands under the tap.

"Turned on Treehouse." She said simply, shaking off her hands."Gave 'em Kool Aid. Emma spilled hers on me."

Levi blinked, lips curving in a silent 'o'. Well then.

Eren swept the messily spilled cards and stacked them in his hand, getting up."This could possibly be our only quiet time. Let's play while they're busy."

Mikasa followed, and Levi did with a sigh, taking a glance at his clock first. It was twelve and their parents all decided to desert them for another six hours. 

Eren had a bag of jalapeno Cheetos in his lap, a cup of water he refilled every two seconds, and an unbelievable level of spice tolerance. Levi watched him eat with a grimace.

"Can we play strip poker?"

"The fuck, Eren."

"Spades?" Mikasa offered, and Eren groaned.

"Dude, you _know_ I suck at it."

"Makes it all the more fun." Levi decided, grabbing the cards from Eren."Spades it is."

"Nig, you a dick."

"Too much Vine in your head." 

Eren rolled his eyes, beaming when his iPhone notified him of a snapchat. He put the Cheetos in his lap, smeared some orange residue at the corner of his mouth with a thumb and selfied smugly. Levi wore a look of disdain.

'Beat that' he typed, sending it to Jean, who'd previously sent him a smug picture of him with a bag of sweet chili heat cradled to his cheek, eyes bloodshot.

After beating Eren twice in the lame game of cards, he called it quits and towered over his phone, devouring his corn puffs.

Emme whined, coming up behind the coffee table they were sitting around."I gotta pee." 

Eren's eyebrows furrowed as he pretended he didn't hear that.

"Get up." Mikasa ordered, and he blew up his cheeks in frustration.

"You take her!"

"Ohhh." Emme groaned as she fidgeted from foot to foot.

"Eren, she's gonna piss on you."

"It's your turn, remember?"

"I don't, since it's always my turn."

" _Ereeen_!" Little googly eyes pleaded, and he jumped up with a growl, grabbing her and throwing her over a shoulder as he stomped over to the washroom.

Levi sighed as he eyed his cards. She wasn't very bad at this game. Actually, he was having a hard time getting the upper hand rather than overpowering her."Your brother's quite the handful." He said idly, and she smirked.

"Which one?"

"The older one, obviously."

She sighed."Tell me about it. Pisses me off all the time. There's this unspoken war zone between his room and mine, mom and dad sadly are caught in it."

Levi smirked in amusement."I expect as much, with your differences."

"I still love him." She said with a shrug."He can get...severely adorable at times."

 _Tell me about it_ , Levi thinks. Oh wait. No, that didn't come out right. 

Eren came back with a giggling Emme trailing behind, fingers flying over the screen of his phone."Hah." He said as he plopped down."Jean went all the way to a Walmart to buy a bag of Miss. Vickie's Jalapeno chips."

"Do you two have nothing better to do?"

"Do you two have nothing better to do?" He mimicked with sass, adding along those bitchy neck motions and finger snaps. Levi kicked him and he doubled over in pain for some time.

Levi realized he was probably just grinning under the shelter of his bangs and paled.

"Yeah." Mikasa said blankly."Don't do that."

_Don't kick the masochist. Don't kick the masochist. Don't kick the masochist._

Levi wondered if his idea of a relationship orbited around a BDSM idea or something. Weird. Wow. So weird.

"Ewww." Ebbe suddenly groaned, shuffling over to Eren."Olivia's on."

"What's wrong with Olivia?" Eren says inattentively, eyes glued to his phone. 

"But I wanna watch my big big friend." He grumbled.

"It was literally just on, Jesus." Eren suddenly gasped."Why isn't the WiFi working??" He furiously tapped away, head snapping up."Where's your router?"

Levi rolled his eyes."The office."

Eren sped off again. Sped back just as quick."Oh wait, it's working, haha."

"Idiot."

They all groaned and whined at once, and Eren's eyes flashed in anger."What do you _want_ I just sat the ffffff--" He steamed, wanting to say it so badly but at the same time unable to."Fudgecicle down!"

Emma blinked her googly eyes, all big and doe-y and glossy."I wanna go to the park."

"Me too."

"Me three."

"Godfriggen-- I _just_ got my WiFi." He seethed.

"Liar! You always have your weefee." Emme protested.

" _Mikasa_." He whined in a desperate plead for help, seeing as it was a lost battle.

"It's nice out, why not?"

"Yes. Please go to big Sis. Bye."

Mikasa scoffed."I ain't going alone.

"FUUUUUUUCKK." 

The triplets collectively gasped.

-

Eren currently had Ebbe on his shoulders, grasping his ankles so he wouldn't fall right off, the boy holding on to Eren with one hand in his hair, the other holding his slushie.

Mikasa held Emma's hand, Levi Emme's as they trudged along the sidewalk."I don't wanna." Eren whined brattily, still not over his fit.

"Suck it up already." Levi shot back, and Eren's expression soured. 

The brats squealed excitedly when they rounded the path to the park, Ebbe climbing down the older and they ran on ahead. Eren scowled to see the park packed, slumping down against a bench as Mikasa followed them.

"Be careful up there, Emma!" She started like the mom she was, Levi joining Eren on the bench.

"I want my WiFi."

"Shut the fuck up already."

"Ugh, there's so much _kids_."

"Not that much." Levi yawned a bit, crossing his legs as he leaned back against the hardwood. It was a _long_ while before Mikasa even mentioned going back home, because the brats threw a fit. Eren saw a swing or two empty and ran across the sand before anyone else took them, Levi cringing a bit and covering his face with a hand.

He cheered in triumph and planted his feet in the sand.

"You're too big for the thing." Levi yelled, the brunet's legs folding in half to accommodate the low height of the swing. 

"Whatever. Come push me." He said with a grin, and Levi gave him an incredulous look before waving him off with a flick of a wrist."Please, Levi?"

He ignored him.

"Levi!" He whined, pouting."Come push meee."

"Jesus almighty, you're a mortification in public." Levi grumbles, getting up to spare himself the smiles and laughs from parents. God fucking dammit.

Eren continued grinning at him when he approached to counter his glare."Chu?" he said meekly, and the raven wordlessly stood behind him and gripped the swing's chains. 

"How high do you like it?" he leaned in to say.

"I'm-I'm actually quite afraid of heights so don't--"

Levi simpered, pulling him back.

"Oh shit, please no--"

He gave him a warm up push and he squeaked. He stiffened when the next push drew him higher."Okay, this is pretty good."

Levi planted his hands on his lower back and gave him a harder shove.

"Levi." He pleaded.

Nope.

" _Levi_!" He screeched as he sailed, the older in turn pushing him with a vengeance despite his barely stifled protests. "Get me down, oh _shit_."

Levi had arms of steel, and he reached the point where he jumped a little in his seat every time he reached his highest stopping point."Fuck fuck fuck-" He squeaked just under his breath, muscles taut with tension."Goddamit I'm _begging_ you--"

Eren had a _lot_ to keep him busy on his way back home, and that was murderously chasing Levi down the sidewalk.

He curled up under his covers that night and threw a few more profanities the raven's way, Levi ignoring them to the best of his ability as he threw on a tank top and comfortable sweats."You totally asked for it."

"Hey, I finally got Jean's snapchat!"

Levi rolled his eyes as he flopped into bed with his back to the idiot. Some blessed cricket silence followed, but not for long.

"Hey, Levi."

"Whaddya want."

He was acutely aware of Eren's presence over him, but kept his eyes shut.

"Can I sleep with you?"

Levi's eyes snapped open."What?"

Eren lit up."Huh?" A remarkably awkward pause."I meant, like beside you? Not...with you?"

"I hope that was your initial offer."

" _Dude_."

Levi ignored him and faced the wall again.

"Pleeaase."

" _No_. I'll bea--no I won't beat you up. I'll change the WiFi password and won't give it to you if your life depends on it."

A startled gasp."C'mon, this is all your fault. I'll get nightmares."

"Aww, well mommy's a room down from here."

"Why can't I?" He whined, and Levi dug the heel of his palm against his forehead.

"Because, how old are you? Just what are the implications of _totally platonic_ cuddling?"

Eren visibly deflated, lips pursing a bit."What _are_ the implications of platonic cuddling?"

" _Non_  platonic shenanigans previously."

"Well who said we had to cuddle?"

"You cuddle your pillows. It's subconscious. And undoubtedly, you'll think I'm cuddling material."

"Pfft. That's what you think."

-3 hours later-

Levi woke up to only half of his bed, a lot more warmth than he was used to, and soft snores tickling his nape. He folded an arm under his head and murderously glared the wall down as the arms around his torso pressed tighter.

Eren sighed contentedly in his sleep, and Levi kicked his shin. He tensed and held onto him tighter.

"Doesn't cuddle my ass." Goddamn. These Jaegers and their pesky existence. Resigning, he wriggled a bit to get more comfortable (he wasn't going to admit that he was pretty cozy and snug just the way they were before), pushed Eren's legs away from his and dug his face deeper into his pillow. Eren followed, resting his face in the softness of Levi's hair.

His stomach churned.

_He is family. He is family. He is family. It's all good. You're straight._

_Haha yeah, you're so damn straight. Straight as a sphere._

He was screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I could beat anyone of you hands down with a spicy chip/food competition. I ain't brown but that curry's really getting to me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoy writing this dumb plotless fic way too much.

Levi didn't know what he did to deserve this. Maybe because of that one time in grade four he stuck a fake cockroach to a tab of gum and offered it to his teacher? Maybe because she cried for the rest of the class?

Eren kicked him in his sleep again.

Levi ground his teeth together before planting a foot in his side and shoving him to the floor. A loud thud and a snort.

"Ow, dude." He murmured, audibly scratching his head."That didn't even hurt in a good way."

"I swear to god I'm a mili brain cell away from beating the shit out of you."

"Hit me baby one more--" His horrid morning croak was silence by Levi's pillow to his face."Time."

With a groan, Levi got out of bed, giving Eren's exposed side another kick for not letting him sleep all night before walking off. Eren produced one of his awkward noises and curled in around himself."Can we take a morning selfie?"

"It's not like we take a selfie at any other time of day." Eren rustled around for a moment before going silent, and Levi tossed his shirt off."Man, I need a fucking shower."

He heard a beep, head snapping towards his troublesome brunet."I'm taking a video, be nice."

The video ended in a high pitched yelp and five seconds of darkness. 

-

"But I wanna take a shower first." Eren grumbled, sitting on his bed with a clean thing of boxers and a towel in hand.

"What did we say about my washroom?"

"No flushing your fish down the toilet." Eren slapped his thigh, snorting a laugh."You were funny, bro, so funny."

Levi gave him a look. Eren grinned back."Hey, how about we shower together to save some time." He got nailed in the head with a bottle of shampoo."I was just kidding, calm your tits."

-

Levi huffed in exasperation as he dried his hair, Eren's muffled singing reaching his ears even before the water started again. He squeaked a particularly gruesome to the ears "I want you-oo-hoo-oo", And Levi nearly broke something.

He was at a very fucking aggravating position because Eren pissed him off indefinitely, but he can't beat him up because the fucker's a masochist, he can't really kill him either because he's pretty sure his psychopath sister will kill him straight afterwards, and he can't even touch him in the presence of his mother before she goes all kyuubi on him.

Like, he couldn't even go down the fucking stairs in peace because Eren was also strolling down the stairs and singing like a dying a cat.

Whenever he glares, Eren beams.

Whenever he cusses, Eren blows him a kiss.

Whenever he gets ready to murder him, Eren immobilizes him with a hug.

He was so fucking _fucked_.

"Hey Levi, can you take me somewhere?" Eren asks in all seriousness.

"Is this how you ask for a date?"

"Psh." Eren scoffed."I do it _way_ more attractively."

"You probably make them spill their coffee on you and guilt trip a date out of them."

"That works, too." He rolled over on his stomach restlessly, phone in hand."I wanna go somewhere. Like, I need to shop."

"How gay are you again?"

"What's wrong with shopping, you sexist bastard?"

"The way you asked."

"Do you not like the way I asked?" Levi rolled his eyes, Eren pulled on a pout and fucking _tripled_ his googly eyes. "Can you please take me out and buy me ice cream and carry my shopping bags??"

"Now you sealed it."

A groan, and Eren buried his face in his pillow."Levi take me out RIGHT NOW before I start singing Taylor Swift. Like that?"

"Not bad."

Eren laughed.

-

Levi took him to a mall to shut him up, and the first thing he bought was a bag of Jolly ranchers and a bottle of coke to keep him entertained.

"What kind of a combination is _that_?"

Eren gave him a look as he unwrapped his fifth candy, lips cutely tainted blue."Wanna try?"

"Fuck no."

Eren held an unwrapped drop to his lips.

"You touched it."

"'S all good, you won't die of diarrhea."  

Something got into him and he parted his lips, Eren grinning when he slipped it in."Coke?"

"No. Just, no."

"Kay." The strolled around the place, Eren slipping into a few shops but coming back empty handed. He dragged Levi into some super mainstream clothing shop."That hoodie, though."

Eren drooled over a cookie monster hoodie and Levi just disapprovingly stood there."I'm buying it."

"What the hell, kid."

"Oh, oh! It has an 'if found...' on the back of it." Eren's tongue peeked out a bit as he surfed through the hoodies. He pulled out an Elmo one."This one says 'return to Elmo'. Oh my god!"

"No."

"You wear a small or an x small?"

Levi cuffed him on the back of the head."Small."

"Ah, okay here." He pulls out a red, Elmo faced hoodie with the words on the back, looking childishly pleased with himself."This is so fucking perfect."

"I am _not_ wearing that shit."

-five minutes later-

They strolled around the mall in their new found hoodies, Eren's a blue to match his lips and Levi red as he tongued a candy with his usual pissed gaze. They got a _lot_ of looks and coos and Levi wanted to kick Eren if he didn't look so fucking happy.

"Oh yeah, I totally forgot to take a selfie." He did the dumb selfie pose, leaned into Levi, and the latter flipped the camera off for affect. Eren laughed his ass off at the picture. 

Asides from the completely adorable sweaters, Eren bought a pair of shoes, a few scented candles, a stress toy to spite Levi, and a set of wearable hooves as a 'Souvenir' for Jean. Levi approved, because that was simply gold. 

Eren decided to add a cone of ice cream to his sweet tooth, and Levi refused to get one because he'd never had this much candy at once before. By the time the were strolling out of the mall, Levi a had a headache, and Eren hadn't lost an ounce of his energy.

"Dude, thanks a lot for the completely non date. It was great."

"You're really not welcome."

Eren always avoided his comments without trying. He stared around, light bags in his hands swinging, licking his ice cream like a child. He suddenly gasped."Is that a chipmunk?"

Levi stood there and facepalmed as Eren wildly chased the animal across the parking lot."Aw, I _lost_ it."

"What'd you expect, moron?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaah shippy

No, of course he could remain unaffected--damn if he wouldn't. Then his name wouldn't be Levi. Those googly eyes sure as hell were _not_ getting to him. 

Who was he fucking kidding? All the fucker has to say is, "Levi, can we...""Levi, can I""Levi, can you..." Blink at him, and Levi feels severely controlled. Like, 'Sebastian do whatever the _fuck_ I say' controlled.

Comes along with the crazy my Kokoro doki doki's for you package. 

The, 'I'm really trying not to melt under your sunny smile' package. Whether he likes it or not, Eren has a pretty smile. So?

So he was fucked.

Given all this drama, he was absolutely losing his touch. 

"What the shit are you doing on my phone."

"Screwing up your apple Id. You like Snapchat? I downloaded it for you." Eren said as he continued lounging over his bed and tapping away.

"You're wasting my--" 

"Here, I put in my Facetime--I know you're gonna miss me."

"You _wish_." Levi lies, flopping down beside him as he continued soberly--strangely sober, actually, taking up megabytes. He blinks when Eren hands it back to him without a fight, stares at him more when slumps and sits quiet for over a period of ten seconds.

He wrings his ear, makes him cringe and shy away."'S The matter?"

"What?"

"You went _quiet_."

Eren looks up at him, and his eyes are glossy and big and puppy like and _that_ right there was the bane of Levi's existence. Eren then snuggles his face in his shoulder without permission and crushes him in a hug.

"That was not your invitation."

"Levi, I'm leaving in a week."

"Really?" He says idly, but then backtracks." _What_?"

"It's been exactly fifty four days and they're almost over."

Two months-- _two_ fucking months have went right out the window--"So what." He says half heartedly."Finally get my bathroom all to myself."

"Yeah?" He vaguely hears a sniffle."Back to good 'ol Jean. I saved up a few insults for him, you know, your creativity. He'll be impressed."

"Don't you fucking dare."

"I'll properly do the copyright stuff."

"Those insults are especially for you, ya hear?"

"Gee, thanks man." Another sniffle."I feel so special." Levi deflates a bit, unable to produce anything else. Then Eren backs away with vigor and flashing eyes."Right! One week. We gotta spend it right."

Levi rolls his eyes."Waste time, you mean?"

"Exactly." His cheeks got squished, and he glared up at those googly eyes.

Waste time they did. Water balloon fights that may or may not involved ambushing Mikasa (and a few bruises). Rap battles after Eren somehow got some Eminem out of him. Snapchat battles too, and for a newb, Levi was doing damn well at beating Eren from one side of the house. Aimless body soaking in a blow up pool in the yard, rubber duckies and popsicles, and Eren's trunks attempting to fall off on more than one occasion.

They took pictures, too, loads and loads of pictures, until Levi almost kicked Eren for taking up his memory.

Then, somewhere along the way, they sort of fell on each other and kissed. That was it. Of course, they didn't do it again. All other twenty some times were unintentional.

Mikasa walked in on them once. Just, unintentionally lip locking. Walked out.

Slammed Levi into a wall and whispered bloody murder in his ear and later he found a thing of condoms stuffed into his pocket. Okay, they weren't at _that_ stage yet. Surprisingly, Eren was more of a cuddler than anything, a very clingy, warm and soft cuddler. Levi thought he'd hand him rope and whips too early.

He sometimes stayed awake long after Eren slept, stared at the wall, listened to him snore and wondered what he'd gotten himself into. He doesn't do relationships. He wasn't asexual or anything--he just didn't do relationships at this point because of their inconvenience. And a relationship that was going to turn _long distant_ in a day.

Damn, he was losing his touch.

"Levi," Eren breaths against his neck, and he stiffens for a moment, because it kind of sounded like it came right out of a fucking wet dream--Eren groaned loudly."I have to pee."

Levi kicked him out of his small bed.

So, here they were again, smiling googly eyes by their front door with their bags on their shoulders, Carla still cooing at him, the forgotten bunch of condoms replacing the sanitizer in his pocket from before.

Yeah, he was going to miss them.

"Can we keep Levi?" Emma says, eyes welling up and tripling in the trademark family gesture. 

"He's not a puppy, em." Carla says with a laugh. Eren is still quiet.

"But I thought we were taking him with us."

"Auntie will be sad if we do." Levi's mother pointedly pouted, but Emma still cried. Levi patted her head in an awkward attempt of comfort.

Levi isn't very pleased to be the one to initiate physical contact as he drags Eren close by the wrist."Do I not get a fucking hug?"

"Say it with me."

"Don't cry?"

"Yeah, don't cry." Eren manages before breaking into shameless baby wails, the shorter producing more awkward pats to his back as he clung onto him and everyone gave them weird looks. 

"Eren has Stockholm Syndrome." Mikasa said casually by means of explanation. She got a few hesitant nods from Levi's parents, An incredulous look from Carla.

Eren texted him the entire ride back home, only five minutes after they left sending an 'I miss you', to which Levi idly replied 'you forgot to snorkel in my room'.

Eren sends a devastated 'fuccck I forgot'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic makes me lose all ability to write something serious.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren thinks Levi will get pregnant from a bj. Guess you didn't do too well explaining, Grisha.
> 
> Also Levi is totally high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is your real christmas gift :3

"What is that?"

"What is what?"

"That."

"That _what_?" 

Eren continued staring at him in scrutiny through his laptop screen, Levi continued staring at the box in the corner with his face to see what the hell Eren was talking about. One of the triplets screamed in the background, it came out as a fugly shrill whine through his speakers, and Eren threw his pillow at someone while the camera blurred. 

"Mooom!"

"Mikasa!"

Someone stomped up the stairs, Levi sighed as de ja vu happened all over again and Carla barged through the door angrily, gave Eren a good shouting, picked up her three triplets by the collar and left.

Eren came back into the camera with his shirt falling off of one shoulder, his hair looking like it was blow dried to one side."Anyway."

Levi snorted a laugh, Eren smiled in a 'welcome to my world' manner."You still have the thing."

The raven quickly slipped back into grouch mode and stared at his reflection some more."What the fuck are you even talking about?"

"Hm, a gray hair, maybe?"

Levi's eyes blew up and he tossed his laptop aside and stared at his bathroom mirror with narrowed eyes. Flung his hair back, held it back with both hands an examined his hairline. Nope. Eren's laugh was audible by now.

"Fuck you." Levi says fondly as he throws himself back in bed, because Eren wasn't getting any sweeter word now or ever."Thing is, I _did_ have something to tell you..." He says with a huff, and he could instantly see curiosity bleed into Eren's unbelievable greens.

Then his expression did a one eighty."Oh no."

"What?"

"Are you pregnant?"

Levi silently left, didn't know what to do with himself, crumbled down the wall and shook in tremors that were half laughs, half bewildered 'what the bloody fuck do I even say to that' quakes. He then composed himself, fixed his hair and returned. He cleared his throat, took in Eren's still earnest expression, the dread in his eyes.

" _First_ and _foremost_." Levi stresses."I'm a male."

"And?"

"We didn't even have sex."

"And?"

"You need to get off of Tumblr." Levi finishes, and Eren laughs awkwardly, eyes drifting to the side. His expression fell again.

"So that's a no?"

"Fucking--"

"Okay, Okay."

 Levi takes another moment to stare at Eren with a restrained smile, the moron, the little shitting moron that was simply too stupidly adorable for words. Eren stares back questioningly, smiles suddenly.

"Get on Snapchat more often, kay?"

"Go take sex ed again."

"Hnng."Eren disappears from the camera, toppling to the side. Levi taps his fingers against his knee in brief thought. 

"So Eren."

"Ya?" He's bouncing back into view with his still mussed up gorgeousness, and Levi wants to touch him so bad, fix his hair with his fingers, bury his face in his exposed shoulder and stay asleep till Mikasa serves them breakfast in bed. Either that or brutally murder their snuggles.

"Miss me yet?"

"Ughh. _Talk_ already."

"Christmas break is comin." He drawls with a lopsided smile, and Eren face rubs in frustration.

"I know."

"You mind us coming over?"

He opened his mouth, left it halfway and gave Levi a sideways glance of 'haaaaa?'. He jumped."For real?"

"Yup."

"Oh my gosh!" he squealed, and the image blurred as his laptop hit the floor."Fuck!" the camera went black. Whipped back to Eren's super excited face. He squealed incoherently again, it was contagious and Levi lazily grinned.

"Neh, sugoi sugoi." He mimicked in annoyingly weeaboo, high pitched drawl, and Eren didn't even waste a moment to get offended, just covered his face with his hands and fell back in bed and screamed some more.

-

"Sooo."

Levi doesn't want this conversation to start now. On the Jaeger's fucking _doorstep_."Mom."

She smiles that one smile, Levi gives her a nudge when he hears footsteps behind the door and Emme's squeals."You two are boyfriends?"

"No." Levi instantly blurts. Gets a look."Sure."

"What?" Dad cocks an eyebrow, and Levi pinches the bridge of his nose as the door unlocks and Grisha first appears. It happened all over again. The hey's, the crowd, the being nice to adults and accepting Carla's warm hugs, encountering all the babies.

"Levi!" Emma screamed, threw herself on his legs and nearly knocked him down. He sighed, picked up two random twins and balanced them on his arms. He didn't know what he'd done to make the kids love him. 

Mikasa came next, grabbed Ebbe and Emme from his arms and placed them on the floor. She then gave him an aggravating hair ruffle with a dutiful expression."Hey there. Cousin slash brother in law."

"You're getting too excited." He grumbles, eyes subconsciously searching behind her for the fuckhead that was suddenly nowhere. He turned around to find his mother squeezing the life of out of his lanky build and giving Levi another smile while she was at it. She released him, and Levi grabbed the slightly dazed brunet by the wrist with a 'can you not touch what's mine' expression. Eren turns around, smiles big and dumb and proceeded in a hug that Levi pretended he didn't want as much he did. Eren laughed into his hair, felt the padding of his jacket."How much layers are you wearing?"

"It's cold." 

"Does this have to do with physics? You know, the closer you get to the ground the more cold air you could find?" Eren says with the most innocent eyes, Levi wonders if he should even feel pissed right now.

"Fuck you."

"I love you too." Eren kisses his nose and starts the cardiac thud-works. 

"You're pretty." 

Eren laughs and hides his face with a hand."Stop. Why would you even say that right now?"

"Because holy shit you're fucking gorgeous."

"Levi!" 

"No, I'm serious." Levi grabs his face with both hands, and Eren's red with embarrassment."What the fuck, Jaeger. I never noticed."

"Can we not--please."

"Can you get a room?" Mikasa grimaces with distaste. Levi gives her a brief look, sets his attention back on the flustered brunet at hand. 

" _Can_ we get a room?"

"Levi, are you okay?" Eren puts a hand on his forehead."The cold's really getting to you."

He grabs Eren tighter and buries his face in his chest."I'm tired."

"We could sleep."

"Or you could get me pregnant."

"For fucks sake--Mrs. Ackerman, what did he have for breakfast?"

"You."

"Get them a room, Mikasa." Grisha sighs.


End file.
